"Pinicular Work" ~ Sam Ohman

I wrote in my Must We Diagnose Max? post that I would write a post explaining what "pinicular work" is...





When Sam was about 3, he was doing what he loved to do the most at that time, and that was playing in the creek, moving stones and redirecting water. On this day, he said to me, “Mama, I’m doing really pinicular work.” He used to make up words all of the time, and we have often used his words regularly in our lives. But this word, pinicular, was the one we have used more than any other, and as I was writing my talk for the We Shine Unschooling Conference, I was able to finally truly understand what Sam really meant with his term “pinicular work”, and I gave it a proper definition (with his permission and approval, of course):




Pinicular work is a child’s own work ~ that which comes from deep within a child’s heart and is based in Who They Are and their Sheer Joy. Pinicular work may be disguised as insignificant play to those trained only to see the surface of the world and of life, but those of us who are able to see beyond and deeper…we know that pinicular work is the greatest and most noble of work.





And for the children who are engaged in their pinicular work, nothing more is needed or required of them. All they need in this moment is the sacred and respected space from their parents, to know that pursuing their pinicular work is good and right and exactly what they should be doing.




We are all here on this earth for the very reason of pursuing our own, unique and individual pinicular work.



When children are not allowed to find and pursue their own pinicular work, and instead have their work defined for them by others (as happens in all other lives except an unschooled one), then they are denied the most essential right of their existence here on earth…the right to truly know themSelves. And without truly knowing one’s Self, one cannot live beyond the superficial surface, let alone remain Whole.



That is exactly why this unschooling life allows us to see, live, feel, grow and dig deeper and more authentically than other paths in life…because our children are free to pursue their own pinicular work all of the time. They do not lose that connection with their spirit that is typically distracted out of us as we are told to move and live further and further away from our own pinicular work, and do other already-specified and defined work instead.

And so this is why it is crucial that we make it OUR work as adults in our children’s unschooling lives, to allow our children’s pinicular work to Be. Our work is to honor it, respect it and celebrate it…as it is. But first we have to be able to SEE it as that. And to see it as that, our work is to really LOOK and see the Truth beyond the surface…to see the source, the Shine and the magnitude of it all in allowing our children to remain Whole…and then to let go and let it flow…

"Must we diagnose Max?" ~ Nicole Pinch

I could hardly sleep last night. Awake at 3:48 a.m., my mind wouldn't stop churning with the excitement that was awaiting me on this day ~ after much anticipation and being drawn into its spell by the previews, Jake, Sam and I were finally going to see Where the Wild Things Are.

Like zillions of other kids, Jake and Sam were brought up with that book, knowing it by heart from reading it over and over again...each time with a new level of awareness, new questions to be asked and answered, and a longing for the comfort of its lulling familiarity. (I must confess that I don't understand how it's possible for me to hear some of my friends say that it was their favorite book growing up...but...but...it's my CHILDREN'S favorite book!!...I am not that old, I'm sorry...but this must be your mathematical error). Not for a second were we wary of the book-to-movie translation, as we have learned throughout our years of our un-Film-and-Fiction class (aka ~ life) to see them as totally separate entities, each with value and uniqueness in and of itself. Besides, we had seen the previews and we just KNEW. We KNEW, somehow, that this film was going to be the ONE that would celebrate the child's Voice.

And that it did. It is truly the most authentic movie I have ever seen.

Hollywood, via Spike Jonze, has finally validated, honored and celebrated the Voice of the child. How glorious it was to see it with my own validated, honored and celebrated children.

There were times during the movie when my Joy and Love were so BIG, I was brought to tears. I sat there, not just watching Max, but LIVING Max. There in Max's heart and his story was Jake's childhood, Sam's childhood, and even my own, that which was not so validated in my real life...and yet it was all so joyful and healing and validating.

The movie was not just a movie...it was a profound experience that I was honored to share with my boys, as well as the other handful of movie-goers who were just as excited about and in love with that movie as we were. After it ended, many of us just sat there, not wanting to move, leave or even speak. We just applauded, gave a few Wild Rumpus Howls...and smiled.

I came home and wasted no time in sharing my love of the movie in my review on facebook, where many of my friends with small children proceeded to ask me if I thought it was appropriate for their child. After giving my own personal feelings, I referred them to screenit.com for a full review so they could judge for themselves.

Within moments, a friend of mine, who had also seen the movie today, had posted a comment after my screenit.com review link.

"Must we diagnose Max?", Nicole wrote.

She wrote more, but I didn't read it. I went straight to the screenit.com review and realized that my skimming before posting the link was not adequate. It was right there...I read it...and my heart broke.

MAX RECORDS plays a boy apparently suffering from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder who doesn't know how to handle his anger, boredom and/or boundless energy and thus acts up.

How could ANYONE be so far OFF from the heart and soul of this amazing movie?? Not just anyone, but the author of a review that will be read by countless parents wondering if they should take their child to see this movie.

How OUTRAGEOUS that we should diagnose Max. How incredibly sad that a Child At Play and a Child Feeling Overwhelmed and Confused should be diagnosed with ADHD (a "disorder" that does not exist outside of a classroom, by the way).

Has the author never seen a child be FREE to BE?? My heart aches for the children in this author's life...children who are probably expected to: sit down, be still, obey, grow up, don't share your feelings, don't yell, don't run, don't imagine, don't BE.

Did not the author see what Max had been subjected to before he acted out?

(The following contains spoiler alerts...)

His igloo, on which he worked so hard (his "pinicular" work, for those who heard my We Shine Conference Talk...for those who did not, I will share what "pinicular work" is at a later time), was destroyed...he watched as his sister dismissed his devastation and did not defend him...he was told by a TEACHER that the sun would eventually burn out and then was enlightened by the same teacher about all of the disasters that would probably eradicate the human race well before then, anyway...and then he watched (our children are ALWAYS watching!!) as his Mom worried over losing her income...he watched as she placed her boyfriend's opinion above the heart of the child and the real living going on in the home.

So he acts out. I don't blame him one bit. I would be ready to let the Wild Rumpus Start, myself, at that point. And thankfully, Maurice Sendak and Spike Jonze agree with me.

However, the author of the screenit.com review would have this child diagnosed, labeled, and most likely drugged because he "doesn't know how to handle his anger/bordem/boundless energy."

Let the Children Be. Let the Children Play. Let the Children Imagine. Let the Children Be Exactly Who They Are. Let the Children's Voices be Heard, Honored, Respected and Celebrated.

Thank you, Maurice Sendak and Spike Jonze for allowing Max to be the validation for every single child that ever lived...whether they have had a validated and celebrated childhood or not...I can't see how anyone who lives an authentic and deep life can miss the heart and soul of this amazing movie.

And I will not be visiting or recommending screenit.com again ever.

LET THE WILD RUMPUS START!!!